Let me break it down for you.

Two years ago, I took up the sharpest knife in my kitchen and dreamed the dream that was me reading a different script, playing a different role, and acting in a different story. It was not perfect - no, I didn't dream that character better than what I am today, but it was different. The dream ended in red, red tears that was my blood flowing from my wrists.

Ten hours ago, I picked up that very same knife, tapped it on my wrists, smiled, laughed, broke down, and drowned. All the things I'll miss, I'll miss dreaming of that old character I failed to be - two years ago.

Here I am today: in red and bleeding.